Story 55 of 💯: The moral of the story is to make sure the old drunk gets his whiskey. Or is it? — “I come here every fucking day, and I pay every fucking day. Hell, I even leave a tip for you lazy ass motherfuckers. Fuckin’ layabouts. Lazy fuckin’ sods!” “I’m sorry, Jack, but the bar is busy tonight. Hank is pouring as fast as he can, but some sorority babes just…

Story 55 of 💯: A gruesome death is the only prize of being a slow learner on the mean streets of Paris. — It’s already fuckin’ Saturday? I was supposed to have this tale finished on Wednesday and published on Thursday. Motherfucker! Better late than pregnant, my momma always said. She would say it with a sad, wistful look in her eyes as she beat the living hell out of me for doing…

Story 54 of 💯: Harken, the apocalypse is nigh, and your false profits of salvation will not save you. Nothing can save you, for the true prophecies are unfolding. — The world will burn, and I will perish the same as you. But let me reassure you, the horror in my eyes and the laughter on what’s left of my tongue betray my intimate knowledge of humanity’s end. From out of the fire will arise a new dynasty.

Story 53 of 💯: Rules are rules, and friends are friends, even if they fucked your wife. — Walking into my usual haunt, I scan the crowd of the usual lowlives and reprobates, looking for Sam. My best friend, Sam. My drinking buddy, Sam. I spot him, unsurprisingly, at your usual table, with an open bottle of whiskey in front of him. “You fucked my wife!” Sam looked…

Death comes for all men. And some women. Depends on how horny he is. — The apparition rose from the side of my bed, shrouded in battered and torn black cloth. The lights flickered dimly, but the apparition didn’t move. It reeked of fear and anguish. Of misery and torment. Of damnation and eternal torment. There was no redemption allowed with this creature of doom. …

Story 52 of 💯: The jeep had never failed him before, but would it fail him at the end of the world? — A shot suspension and bald tires were the best parts of her, but his baby had never failed Jeb before. Jeb prayed — to whom he didn't know — and turned the key in the ignition. With a sputter and not a roar, his baby casually sauntered to life. “Thank…

Story 51 of 💯: When Death calls, there’s no choice but to answer. — “Hello?” “Hey, Fred. How you doing? It’s Death.” “Yes?” “We met at the Smith’s cocktail party last week. Do you remember? When I choked Frank on a cocktail weenie? You tried to give him the Heimlich, but I pushed you out of the way.” “Sorry, no. You must have the…

Story 50 of 💯: After a bad day at the office, whiskey is my only cure, but a good barroom brawl is the next best thing. — Another day of bullshit at the office. Made to redo six days of number crunching in an hour; the fucking project gets shelved. Some assmuncher steals my lunch from the fridge, and I don’t have time to grab anything from the cafeteria. The boss goes on vacation and leaves his…

Story 49 of 💯: I hoped the deliciously nasty little slut would do anything for a fiver. — She loved to suck dick. Any she could find, she’d swallow whole. Gulp down the juice and move on to the next. She loved the taste, and she loved the warm, salty explosion in her mouth. She loved their rough hands on the back of her head and how they…